I will not eat them, Sam-I-Am.
I will not eat green eggs and a bearded clam
I will not eat Apocalypse sex
I will not eat a Briannasaurus rex
A slight case of rabies
Makin’ babies.
Getting sexed up by the Ferengi
Cumming on your enemies
Not seeing your reflection
Locking doors with your erection
It’s a Chronic Active Hepatitis
It’s a Campaign Against Homophobia
NO! It’s Cards Against Humanity
Cards Against Humanity
Laughing at Keanu
Knowing how to Kung Fu
Mothballs in the beef strew
R2-Triple-D2
Lots and lots of gasoline
Carrots and vaseline
I am jacks smirking pink slime
I am jacks cherry cream pie
I am jacks robots getting high
I am jacks smirking george mcfly
Whale barf
Yellow discharge
Hitting school kids with your car
Being a shitty card czar
A syringe full of butter
Cutting fingers with a paper cutter
It’s a Congenital Adrenal Hyperlapsia
It’s a Command Auditory Hallucination
NO! It’s Crabs Adjust Humidity
Crabs Adjust Humidity
Slamming your dick in a drawer
Poking at a cold sore
Hiding slaves in a trap door
Miley Cyborg
Fucking wash them
Monkey Island TM
A toddler with a razor blade
Making meth with a kitchen aid
Real girl scout lemonade
That’s how babies are made
Not reading the quran
Belonging in the garbage can
Getting tickled by a creepy homeless man
30 dead guys and one woman
Worshipping Satan
A windshield in front of an asian
It’s Cards Against Ben
It’s Cards Against the Yen
NO! It’s Cards Against Canada
It's Cards Against Canada
It's Computer Aided Handling
It's Cyanide and Happiness
NO! It's Cards Against Humanity
Cards Against Humanity
credits
from Creature,
released March 10, 2015
Music and lyrics by Ben Stark. No actual Cards Against Humanity or Crabs Adjust Humidity cards were used in the lyrics. Any similarities are purely coincidental.