by Ben Stark

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There’s a skeleton inside you now Screaming inside he just wants to get out There’s no where that you can run or hide You’re gonna die when the skeleton comes out You’re gonna die You’re gonna die There’s no reason to be afraid You’re gonna die eventually anyway Call your mom better call your dad There’s no superhero who can save the day You’ll probably die You’ll probably die I’m a skeleton I’m a skeleton There’s no room in here There’s no room for you There’s a monster inside you now Ready to explode out from your skin There’s a skeleton you can’t deny Better get a knife and cut it out I hope you die I hope you die It’s time to die It’s time to die
Welcome to the phone company, bitch. Once upon a time I had a pager son That brick was phat Back in 1991 But check me now I've got a phone With buttons and a speaker And a sweet ring tone R to the I to the N G G G Rockin my flip phone Like its 1993 Workin' for the phone company, yow I'm a lucky-ass son of a bitch Workin' for the phone company like a dog all day long Workin' for the motherfuckin' phone company This is a rap song So check it dude We've got the reps For being rude We make all The great prank calls To hospitals, courtrooms And bathroom stalls I got a dog His name is Rover Just like my minutes He knows how to roll over I'd love to talk But I got another call Hold for a long long time This ones from my mom My phones ringing all night long Gotta top up my minutes To finish this song Yeah. Check it. Cell phone. AT&T T-Mobile The IRS Cingular Verizon Metro PCS Pac Bell Bell South Air Canada Orange Stop
Under the stars Into the night Something Arrives Run for your lives Screaming and Flaming It’s Coming Coming closer Brighter clearer It get’s nearer With each hour Gleaming the Bodies fall From the From the night sky Twitsed figures Cracking Stretghing An eye opens Lasers and Exctinction The Sky The sky darkens Executions Squirming Bodies The ground shaking Screaming and Flaming It falls
Due to copyright reasons, the lyrics to this song cannot be displayed here, but you can read them here:
I will not eat them, Sam-I-Am. I will not eat green eggs and a bearded clam I will not eat Apocalypse sex I will not eat a Briannasaurus rex A slight case of rabies Makin’ babies. Getting sexed up by the Ferengi Cumming on your enemies Not seeing your reflection Locking doors with your erection It’s a Chronic Active Hepatitis It’s a Campaign Against Homophobia NO! It’s Cards Against Humanity Cards Against Humanity Laughing at Keanu Knowing how to Kung Fu Mothballs in the beef strew R2-Triple-D2 Lots and lots of gasoline Carrots and vaseline I am jacks smirking pink slime I am jacks cherry cream pie I am jacks robots getting high I am jacks smirking george mcfly Whale barf Yellow discharge Hitting school kids with your car Being a shitty card czar A syringe full of butter Cutting fingers with a paper cutter It’s a Congenital Adrenal Hyperlapsia It’s a Command Auditory Hallucination NO! It’s Crabs Adjust Humidity Crabs Adjust Humidity Slamming your dick in a drawer Poking at a cold sore Hiding slaves in a trap door Miley Cyborg Fucking wash them Monkey Island TM A toddler with a razor blade Making meth with a kitchen aid Real girl scout lemonade That’s how babies are made Not reading the quran Belonging in the garbage can Getting tickled by a creepy homeless man 30 dead guys and one woman Worshipping Satan A windshield in front of an asian It’s Cards Against Ben It’s Cards Against the Yen NO! It’s Cards Against Canada It's Cards Against Canada It's Computer Aided Handling It's Cyanide and Happiness NO! It's Cards Against Humanity Cards Against Humanity
Welcome to the Westworld amusement park Where nothing can go wrong At a thousand dollars a day it’s no lark And you have no choice but to play along Boy have we got a vacation for you With robot horses and robot people And some of the robots have lost a screw And most of those robots are after you He’s got pixel vision And a trigger finger His haunting eyes are shiny And his name is Gunslinger They gave him super hearing In the circuits in his head He shoots with precision Bang yer dead They don't even know how they work It’s all a bit hazy There was a central malfunction And the machines went all crazy. You try to hide from his infrared eyes While the science guys try to cut the robot power Setting him on fire was probably unwise Now he’s just mad and it’s the zero hour He’ll shoot a hole in your arteries He’ll shoot your cowboy hat right off You’ll only get so far with flattery Until his gun runs out of batteries. He’s got pixel vision And a trigger finger His haunting eyes are shiny And his name is Gunslinger They gave him super hearing In the circuits in his head He shoots with precision Bang yer dead The plot drags on and you stop listening Now you’ve seen the movie Westworld It’s kinda like Jurassic Park, but less interesting
Not our of desperation or insatiable lust Not out of friendship, kindness and trust Nor for purple mountain's majesty Or all the crack in America Welcome to the turning Welcome to the end Welcome to the turning Welcome to the end Not as an ace in the hole, or a last resort Not out of solitaire, dysphoria, or anything of that sort Not when the darkness consumes, or your sanity departs Welcome to the turning Welcome to the end Welcome to the turning Welcome to the end Not out of desperation, or unquenchable thirst Not for anything, not even When this song is reversed
All in my handy haversack It's my own secret hiding place It's my sweet little black backpack I could fit an entire dire yak Elven red wine? I'll take a case All in my handy haversack You want to give me a big smack I'm not lying. See my straight face? It's my sweet little black backpack Ancient scrolls I've got a stack, jack I'll hold your sword, your axe, your mace All in my handy haversack I've got your coins, your loot, your snack All in non-dimensional space It's my sweet little black backpack If it ruptures I'll get some flack Our stuff will be lost in nil-space All in my handy haversack It's my sweet little black backpack
Science Bitch The Lord is Coming.... Hard Will you? Unf. Motherfucking zombie killing Jesus Christ Death is so important. So important. Fuck. Pizza, pickles, root beer, spam Beach ballin' Bacon, poison, postcards, pie Escape! Escape! Liquid measure Organically grown Happy holidays You do not eat That which rips your heart with joy
There she sits, the redhead in the flower dress Smiling shyly Pretending not to look at me A majestic creature, carefully crossing her legs Her pale skin glowing warmly in the sunlight As she gazes out the window Fiery auburn curls circle her face Hanging just above her long slender neck Shoulders framing her perky bosom Casually engaging a stranger in conversation With a playful curiosity the same as a child She looks away and catches my eye Dark brown moccasins bounce on her feet Sunlight shining on her shapely legs Revealing wisps of soft, tiny hairs With a graceful gesture she lets down her hair Teeth like perfectly cut diamonds shine between her delicate lips As she laughs at a joke There she sits, like a porcelain doll Doe eyes full of wonder and intrigue Pretending not to look at me
Due to copyright reasons, the lyrics to this song cannot be displayed here, but you can read them here:
Toxic Monster Calls for Chivalry Now Bloated Wasteland Trashcan Man Hamburgler Digs Further In His Back Yard Pizza Delivery Right into my Mind Holy Ghost dad Jello got me Down Everything is happening Everything is maddening Everyone is clapping Everyone is dead Horse Pill Graveyard Sex Mystery Boy Frozen Vegan Sausage Cake Reptile Salt Lick Killed the Milk Man Afro Rambo Lipstick guitar Pick Long frown Get Down Off your Murphy Bed Everything is happening Everything is fattening Everyone is clapping Everyone is dead Everything is sacherine Everyone is Catherine Everyone is wrapping Presents for the dead


LOADED WITH BONUS STUFF! This album includes 2 bonus tracks and a PDF with liner notes and 5 never-before-seen photos in HIGH RESOLUTION!


released March 10, 2015

Ben Stark - Vocals, Guitar, Ukulele, Keyboards, Percussion, Noises.
Bobby Stark - Vocals

All music and arrangements by Ben Stark except:
“Rap Ring” - Inspired by music by Ben Stark and Chris Alarie, with
samples courtesy of Apple, Inc.
“Asshole” - Written by Beck Hansen
“Ducktales” - Written by Mark Mueller

“Gun shot” sound on Yul Brynner courtesy of GoodSoundForYou
under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License.

Album artwork and photographs by Ben Stark,
“Skull” artwork by Chris Alarie

No actual Cards Against Humanity or Crabs Adjust Humidity cards
were used in “CAH”. Any similarities are purely coincidental.

Special Thanks
Mom, Dad, Chris Alarie, Bobby Stark, David Blakeley

© Copyright 2015 Ben Stark.


Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.



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